Thursday, July 8, 2010

jokes

usne mehndi laga rakhi thihumne uski doli utha rakhi thihum ko maloom tha ke woh bewafa niklegiissi liye humne uski behan pata rakhi thi



Internet par ladki pataayiInternet par ho gayi sagaayiInternet par divorce ho gayaIs bahaane computer ka course ho gaya


Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!


Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayiLiya paper aur tasveer aapki banayiSocha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhengeMagar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi…
Umeedo ki manjil toot gayiAankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayiAre tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayiJab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi..
Pyaar Ise Kehte HainJawani ko zindage ki nikhaar kehte hain,pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain,Ajeeb chalan hain duniya ka yaaro,Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab PYAAR kehte hain!
Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge,Agar wo aa jayegi meri zindagi me,To lalu ki kasam Bihar me bhi Tajmahal bana denge.

Yeh jo hasinao ke baal hote hai,ladko ko fasane ke jaal hote hai,pee jati hai sara khoon ladko katabhi to gaal itne laal hote hai..
Aur Laila baithi hai SMS free hone ke intezar mein.





Majnu ko Laila ka SMS nahi aayaUsne 3 din se khana nahi khaya.Woh marne wala hai Laila ke pyar mein,If v treat her nice she says “yaar mujhe line de raha hai”If v dont she says “kitna akarta hai”If v dress nicely she says “mujhe impress karna chahta hai”If v dont she says “tasteless hai yaar”If v argue with her she says “ziddi hai”If v sit quietly she says “dumb hai”If v act smarter she’ll lose her brain as u r insulting herIf she acts smarter she thinks its her rightIf v dont love her she says “is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai”If v love her she says “peechhe hi pad gayaa hai”If v dont tell her ur prob she says ” u r not honest 2 me”If u do tell to her she says “u r a problem child”If v scold her she says “you act like a grandpa giving lecture”If she scolds us she says “Yaar, its becoz i care”If v break a promise she says “She does not trust u any more”If she breaks she says “jaan main majboor thi….ladkiyan re ladkiyan . .bechare boys itna sab sehke bhi chup chap rehte


Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.



Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha haiKya pyaar karna paap hai?Kya pyaar karna paap hai?Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai“Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai”
Apko paakar ab khona nahi chahate.Itna khush ho ker ab rona nahi chahate.Yeh aalam hai hamara aapki judai se.Aankho mein neend hai magar sona nahi chahate.


Woh Zindagi hi kya jisme Mohabbat nahi,Woh Mohabbat hi kya jisme Yaadein nahi,Woh Yaadein kya jisme Tum nahi,Aur woh Tum hi kya jiske saath Hum nahi
Na khwabon me dekha, na nazaron me dekha,Hazaron me ek humne tum hi ko dekha,Gum dene wale to har pal hai yahan,Har pal khushi dene walon me ek aap hi ko dekha
Dil mein ek dard liye jiye ja raha hoon,Teri mohabbat ka jaam piye ja rahan hoon,Na chahte huye bhi ye kaam kiye jaa raha hoon,Na jane khud ko kaun si manzil par liye ja raha hoon.


Ek Gadha:- Yaar mera malik mujhe bahut maarta hai. Dusara Gadha:- To tu bhag kyu nahi jata. Pehla Gadha:- Bhag to jata.. par yahan future bada bright hai ... malik ki khoobsurat beti jab shararat karti hai to malik kahta hai, "Teri shaadi gadhe se kar dunga...!" Bas isi ummeed me baitha hoon........ Keeping Hopes may not improve your future, but it will certainly reduce the pain of Today !!


BAKRA BOY-FRIEND Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi. Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai? Please wait while images are being loaded.....by Wowmailz Dear, sweetu ya jaanu hi hoga(He guessed). Jab usne miss-call di toh screen pe display ho raha tha " Bakra No.5? Calling". View


abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,
ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,
subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana
thoda sharmate hue hume need se jagana,
wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main phirana,
muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,
jaldi se ready ho jao, aap ko office bhi hai jana.
gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,
dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,
saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,
ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.
5 saal baad……..
subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,
table par rakh kar jor se chilana,
aaj office jao to munna ko
school chodte hue jana…………..
ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,
kya baat hai abhi tak chodi nahi charpai,
agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,
munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.
na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,
dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,
sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,
har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,
kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,
hum ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge



JEE – Jehadic Entrance Examination
IIT – Islamic Institute of Terrorism
IIM – Institute of Infiltration Management
CAT – Career in Alqaida & Taliban
IAS – Iraq after Saddam
M Tech – Masters in Terror Technology
GATE – General Aptitude in Terror and Extremism
TOEFL – Test of Extremist Foreign Languages
GRE – Graduate in Relocation Extremism
MBBS – Master of Bomb Blasting Strategies
MBA – Master of Bombing Administration


Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekhato yaad aaya kuch to hua hai kuch ho gaya hai,exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aayasab kuch alag hai sab kuch naya hai.


मैं और मेरा रूममेट अक्सर ये बातें करते हैं,घर साफ होता तो कैसा होता.मैं किचन साफ करता तुम बाथरूम धोते,तुम हॉल साफ करते मैं बालकनी देखता.लोग इस बात पर हैरान होते,उस बात पर कितने हँसते.मैं और मेरा रूममेट अक्सर ये बातें करते हैं.
यह हरा-भरा सिंक है या बर्तनों की जंग छिड़ी हुई है,ये कलरफुल किचन है या मसालों से होली खेली हुई है.है फ़र्श की नई डिज़ाइन या दूध, बियर से धुली हुई हैं.
ये सेलफोन है या ढक्कन,स्लीपिंग बैग है या किसी का आँचल.ये एयर-फ्रेशनर का नया फ्लेवर है या ट्रैश-बैग से आती बदबू.ये पत्तियों की है सरसराहट या हीटर फिर से खराब हुआ है.ये सोचता है रूममेट कब से गुमसुम,के जबकि उसको भी ये खबर हैकि मच्छर नहीं है, कहीं नहीं है.मगर उसका दिल है कि कह रहा हैमच्छर यहीं है, यहीं कहीं है.
दिल में एक तस्वीर इधर भी है, उधर भी.करने को बहुत कुछ है, मगर कब करें हम,इसके लिए टाइम इधर भी नहीं है, उधर भी नहीं.
दिल कहता है कोई वैक्यूम क्लीनर ला दे,ये कारपेट जो जीने को जूझ रहा है, फिकवा दे.हम साफ रह सकते हैं, लोगों को बता दें

Tune 18 saal ki umar me mama Kans ko mara,BIN LADEN ko hath laga kar to dikha …
Tune Arjun ko to Saari Geeta sunayee,Mere Project Manager se ek baar baat kar ke to dikha …
Tune to Arjun ka Sarathi banke Pandavon ko jitaayaIndian Cricket team ka Coach ban ke WorldCup jitaake to dikha …
Tune bhari mehfil mein draupadi ko saree pehnai,Mallika sherawat ko ek jodi kapde pehna ke to dikha …
Tune gokul ki 1600 gopiyan patai,Meri collage ki sirf ek ladki ko pata kar to dikha …
Hey Krishna tu is kalyug mein aa kar to dikha …



Boy: Tumhari Kameez Phati Hui Hai.Girl: Nahi Ye Fashion Hai.BOY: Wah Ji Wah.Khud Phaaro To Fashion,Hum Phaaren To Police Station. :-)

No comments:

Post a Comment